The doing of nothing

The title pretty much sums up my holiday weekend - I did absolutely nothing useful. Was good.
Now I'm just sitting home thinking that I'm probably a little bit sick. There is no other reasonable explanation as to why I would be so exhausted that I can't even play tennis properly.
Definitely not looking forward to school anymore. At least not Koidula. Would just like to chill and enjoy the sunshine with my buddies (who don't seem to feel the same way).
Anywho... it seems that once again I don't have any real subject to talk about. I just thought that I should post something.

Actually. There is one thing I would like to say. And that is, that I deeply enjoy spending time alone. I mean, it's great to just read something and listen to music and think and sing if I feel like it, or speak my thoughts out loud. Can do anything I want. Isn't that great? Well, yeah, I'm always happy when my friends and I do something or just hang out (which we apparently don't do very much... not with me at least), but alone is so great. I don't feel the need to have someone around all the time... well, maybe there is one person, but that's a whole other matter.
But you get my drift.

Well, hope you enjoyed my rant.
O.

Truth

One of the best feelings in the world is knowing the fact that you actually mean something to someone.

O.

The return of the parents

Just as I was getting used to coming home to no-one, my parents came back from Japan. Well, it was nice while it lasted. On the plus side, I don't have to spend my own money on food anymore and I got myself a cool bracelet-thingy.

Been living on the Johnny Cash wave for a couple of days now. If you haven't already then watch the movie "Walk the line" - I loved it. Joaquin Phoenix actually sounds almost identical to Johnny Cash and the music in the movie was great.
I wish I could wear a suit all of the time. Suits are stylish and masculine and never go out of style. But they're damned expensive and wear out quickly if I should wear them every day. So... I guess not.
It would appear that one particular person is under the impression that I'm an egotistical arrogant person. Well, I'd like to remind you that this is not the case. I value manners above all else and aspire to resolve every situation without losing my cool and staying polite. So now you know...
A friend brought muffins to school today. Was delicious and I wasn't forced to eat the egg-fish soup that was served in the cafeteria. Also, we got a bunch of cookies because we're not going to school on Monday and that was supposed to be our lunch. See the point? Yeah, me neither.
I spent two hours sawing pieces of wood for my last project in woodshop class. It is going to be a really good piece because I plan on using it in my everyday life so it has to be.

Today I got thinking about what is a good, maybe even perfect, life. Is there a definition? I think not. I believe that everyone has to decide for themselves. Friends are probably an important step towards a good life. To me a happy life is a life where I have a chance to do all the things I want. Not in an tyrannical or selfish way - just to get to read all the books I want and try out different things and have a chance to at least make acquaintance with the awesome people of the world. Luckily you don't always have to look very far for those people. I for one have found some extremely interesting, good-hearted and humorous people. I don't feel the need to talk to every person I see. Interesting people usually shine out from the crowd and those are the people I will remember. And that brings me to the thought that a happy life is one where you can remember the good ol' times and have the people to remember them with. One person should be enough. It would be for me. I don't know about you but I don't want to gather a lot of people around me to be similar to me or even worse - to be a part of the grey mass. I have my opinions and my views and if there are some people out there who have exactly the same views then I would be happy. Very much so in fact.
But enough of this subject. Don't want to write a novel here.

Always be true to yourself.
O.

Something to say

Hey, haven't written for a couple of days now, but I don't feel like just writing about what I do every day - seems pointless. And no-one probably cares, so I'll write if I have something to say.

It would seem that tonight I have something to say. I won't go into details but recently I've been feeling jealous of some people. I hate that I'm jealous of them, because I feel like it's a stupid thing to be jealous of. But I am, so... sucks to be me, I guess. I mean, it's not an unusual thing, but I still hate being jealous of that. I won't share with you the source of my jealousy because I don't want some people to know. If you're interested then come and ask me, but I can't tell some of you. But jealousy is a horrible thing and I hate being in its grip.

Otherwise everything seems fine. Life is a flower, as the saying goes :) There's especially one person who I deeply enjoy talking to, who is awesome in every way possible in my book.

Unfortunately I don't have anything meaningful to say, just some rambling that was written with an extremely sleepy head.

Hope you're having a better time than I am.

O.

Awesomeness

Well last night there was a party at my place and it was pretty cool. The people were awesome thus everything else was awesome. We had so much stuff to eat that I didn't need to make breakfast - I just ate the chocolate croissants that Stella made. I don't think she understands the concept of a croissant, but they were delicious so who cares. There was a bunch of people here and I'm really happy that my best friends came too, and helped me with everything. Also it was cool that Maris made it, and brought Mikk and Matu. It was cool just sitting and talking with them in the end. It's distressing that I had to be rude to some people and satisfying that I got to be rude to some really annoying people. Don't get me wrong - I think manners must always come before all else and I always try to be as polite as possible (even when talking to people I dislike very much), but those people just came here to annoy me and I had other things to deal with so I told them to get lost. I mean, is it so hard to just think before you say stuff? Is it so hard to NOT say utterly random curse words in sentences? What is the point? Maybe people just want to be cool or popular or whatever by cursing and acting like 10-year-old's, but there is absolutely no point in cursing. There are much more civil ways of making your opinion heard. People should also think about the way they speak, should think about the intonation, because things like that give very much away. Should consider other people and that not everything revolves around themselves. But those are my beliefs and thoughts on how to behave and I like to think of myself as old-fashioned, because I admire the common behaviour rules of the 50's and 60's. I don't feel like dissecting the subject any further, because when I go into detail, it takes me a whole novel-full of things to say before I'm satisfied that I got my point through. But now you know - I admire people who know how to be polite and say the right things and aspire to be like that myself.
It was also really cool that we got to jam a little with the guitars, although I can't play jack compared to Armand.
Also, my brother is back home for the weekend, which I love. We're going to the sauna tonight and going to have us a good time.

Have a good one.
O.

Awaiting

Well, it's been a pretty great couple-of-days. School's going alright, I guess, nothing interesting there.

Today there's gonna be a little get-together at my place, some awesome people are coming over. Going to have us a great time. Going to jam with guitars and have some cool things to eat. Stella's making chocolate croissants! I just cleaned the house a bit and chilled at the neighbors' place for I have some time until people come here. 

Fortunately my mood seems to be great all of the time now, don't know what could be the cause. On the other hand, my brain seems to not deem it necessary to work at full functionality when I'm happy, so once again I have no thoughts to share with you in my blog. 

Training was pretty bad today - some kids had some kind of a workshop there and we had no courts to play on. So we spent a couple of minutes in the gym but didn't really feel like being there either so we left. And that was the whole of the training I did today. 

There was a person from Belgium to talk about the educational system at school today. Wasn't anything special and seemed too unorganized and random to be a legitimate study on the differences of the Estonian and Belgian educational systems.

Hope you're all enjoying yourselves.

O.

Euphoria

This is the song that the title of the blog is inspired by :)

Today I'm in an euphoric mood, because the day has been extremely good. School was lame as always, but afterwards I got myself a new shirt and materials for my little project.
Most important of all, my good friend and mentor Kadi gave me a great review of my blog. Well, that made my day, because her opinion matters a great deal to me. Awesome as she is, why shouldn't it. And this post is dedicated to her :)
Been enjoying great music so far and also playing it. Whenever I'm standing up, I'm jumping around 'cause I just can't help myself. How about that, huh?
No deep monologues about society's issues in this post. But don't you worry, some random annoying or stupid or confusing thing is sure to put me in a thinking mood soon enough.

Thanks again, Kadi. Everyone have a great day and enjoy yourselves. I know I will.
O.

Howdy

Some pics that I found cool.
PS. I'm happy with my blog design now. This will stay

O.

Windmill

Just as I was thinking of writing something in my blog, I saw a great tweet that made me think. It went something like this: There's no point in worrying about what other people are saying about you. You've affected their lives, don't let them affect yours.

That is somewhat true and I somewhat agree. I personally usually just ignore it, when some remarks are made toward me because I simply don't care. But some people's opinions matter so this shouldn't be taken too literally.

I was recently asked, by an extremely charming and good person, why do I always emphasize it, when people are awesome.  Well, there's a perfectly good reason: I don't find many people very cool so when I do find someone who is awesome in my book, then I like to make sure they know it. The conversation was (or would've been) very interesting, but unfortunately it was cut short. There was some doubt by the person, whether I meant what I said about them being awesome or not, because apparently she had been lied to about that. And that brought me to a thought, a thought I've had many-many times before, a thought that usually makes me sad. What makes me sad is that apparently it is not required of a man to be a gentleman, to be a true honest man, to be polite, to be intelligent or at least make some sense, no, apparently a lot less is required for a man to be considered awesome and cool and to become popular. That is saddening, because my principals are that I have to always be polite and respectful towards women, I always try to be a gentleman, always do things that, to me, should be expected of a man, it's the little things that matter: I offer my coat if a girl's cold, I offer a seat, I offer to help with what ever they might need, e.g carry something, I make compliments etc. And sometimes I forget that when I meet someone new then they don't know right away that I'm a polite and nice guy. And what also saddens me is that people don't expect others to be polite and nice, good-hearted people. They assume that something must be wrong. Call me old-fashioned but I think that is extremely sad.

And when I was talking to that person, then okay, I get it, you can't be absolutely sure that I'm truthful with you, that I am not some douche who says things to impress people, to attract attention or whatnot, but I'd love for that person to realize who I am, if I'd only be given the chance. 

Changed my blog layout, will probably change again soon because I'm still not happy with it.

Been to the sauna three days in a row now, it isn't very often when that happens. 

Let's turn forever you and me...

Is everybody in?

I thank you for your attention. Hope you're in a better mood than I am.

O.

What you are

The current week has been pretty great so far. I got some schoolwork done, which is awesome, 'cause I rarely do. Also, yesterday's training was one of the best. We had a little tournament among ourselves, some variety to the everyday training and exercising. The new girl, Laura, is an excellent player and it was amazing how close the match was. But I managed to beat her and got to play in the finals. Unfortunately I didn't beat Jaan which is lame, because I almost always do. Then chilled in the sauna with my bud and off to EndlaJazz I was. 

I must say that it was awesome. First I got to see my good friend Armand play a really good song and after that I watched other friends play lots of chill and cool music. My favorite by far was Kalle, he was just brilliant. The feeling and obvious joy he got out of being on stage was just so great to watch and listen, and of course he played the guitar brilliantly. Stella and the others left pretty soon so I chilled with Maris and enjoyed the music. Then later, when going home, we laughed ourselves to shreds with Eliise and at home I was.

In the previous post I wrote some kinda deep stuff and got so deep into the topic that I forgot to mention that I have two of the greatest friends I could hope for. I apologize :) But you already know what I think of you so, no problem, I guess.

Can't wait to go to Sütevaka. Really looking forward to it.

Always stay who you are and be awesome.

O.

First blog

I decided to start a blog and not bother everyone with my constant need for expressing my opinion. I haven't decided yet if I'll be doing this in Estonian or in English. Still, this one will remain in English. Also, I don't really care if anyone reads this - it's more for just getting my thoughts in order anyways.

There's a lot of stuff going on actually and I'm happy to say that I've made some great decisions lately, decisions that have made me a lot more content with my life. First, I decided to take a lot of me-time and concentrate on reading books, training and other hobbies that I haven't made nearly enough time for that deserve it. I don't really care for other people right now, because I loathe most of my classmates and I don't really have nor feel the need to have many friends who to spend time with. Being alone is something I deeply enjoy, as is helping people for some reason. And that brings me to my second decision: I am always really good to people and always prefer to give them another chance, even if they did something really bad. But I recently realized that I get pitifully little back and hence decided to thoroughly evaluate all my relationships and think back on how my friends and acquaintances have regarded me. If they have ever even taken interest in me, maybe asked to hang out with me or done anything friendly enough to be considered a friend. And I've come to realize that I don't have a single one of that kind of friends. All are just people I know and get along well with. People for some reason expect a lot of stuff from me, but when I even begin to hope that someone might do something for me, they shrug their shoulders and say: "I thought you didn't need me to" or "You'll be fine" or just "I'm sorry, bye!". I really don't appreciate being used and despise hypocritical people. So now I refrain from any conversing and interacting with people who I know wouldn't help or take interest in me anyways, whatsoever - and sadly, there is a lot of those people. Don't get me wrong, I am not a person who desperately needs other people's involvement in their life and as I said before, I enjoy spending time alone, but it's just sad that people are so selfish. Also, I found that even the people I thought to be my best friends don't even bother to hang out if I feel the need to complain and get something off my chest. And now I'm taking some time off from having friends and in time, looking for new ones, ones who know what it means to be a true friend.

On a less deep note, spring is here and that means that my house's basement is once again filling with water and I have to use the annoyingly and stubbornly impractical pump to get it out. But that is a small problem and one that I'm already used to. 

Also, I have decided to start cooking more frequently again, making myself and maybe my family something to eat now and then.

This quarter I plan on getting all fives on my report card, which shouldn't be too hard considering that I have been slacking off most of the time before and still gotten most grades fives.

I've taken up jogging on the side of tennis and gym. I jog a 6.5km track twice or thrice a week. I really enjoy it and find it very therapeutic and calming.

And I think that's it. I find this to be a very successful first blog.

Have a nice one.

O.